By Elaine Carlson

Monday I was checking my email when I saw that Carolyn, a high school classmate, had sent a notice that her sister Beverly died. The three of us went to Nordhoff High School in Ojai, California. Beverly was in the Class of 1962 while Carolyn and I were in the Class of 1967.

I was the oldest child in my family and Beverly was the older sister I would have liked to have had. She would tease me, and I would always laugh --- she was never offensive when she was joking around.

Nordhoff was the The Home of the Rangers. Beverly was an accomplished artist and drew our high school mascot --- a ranger, of course, who sat on his horse backward. She did a lot of other artwork.

Several years back I went back home for a visit and saw her. We were glad to see each other. One thing we talked about was our high school math teacher. She said, "Ms. Fukasawa tried real hard to make me interested in trigonometry." I told her it didn't matter that she wasn't a star pupil in math, because she was so good in art. She said her mother always said she was a good artist. We both laughed.

Her most notable feature was that she was a dwarf. In her write up, Carolyn said Beverly would often say she was "part chihuahua" but I never heard her say that. She always lived with grace and never gave any indication that her being so short caused her any physical or social problems. Yet I can only imagine how much she suffered growing up when she didn't look like anyone else – I think we all realize the first instinct of children is to reject people who are different.

Once she told me the school gave her an Interest Test. The results were that her biggest interest was in physical education. She didn't understand how it arrived at that conclusion. I should have asked her who told her to take that test because I wish I knew. But I can guess. One of the counselors was named Mrs. Johnson and I think she was most likely the one who ordered Beverly to take the test.

Carolyn said, "I was blessed to have an inspirational, incredibly talented and caring sister." It is not just her sister and the rest of her family who are now sad. Everyone Beverly knew and dealt with now must cope with a big loss.

I remember when I learned about an important fact about death. Somehow, I thought a person dying was just a stroke of bad luck which only happened to some people. Our family had a second house on our property. When I was ten, we were renting it to Harry, an elderly man.

In the morning my mother found that he had died. His body had already been picked up and taken away by the time I got home from school. But a beige car was parked in front of our house. A man from the county came out and was talking to my mother.

After he drove away my mother told me Harry died. I actually wasn't too sad because I hardly knew him. I might have said it wasn't fair that he had to die and that I hoped I wouldn't.

She told me that everyone is going to die. I looked at her kind of puzzled and asked if that was really true. Everyone? She said yes everyone was going to die. I guess that letting your children know the low down on life is just part of what a parent is supposed to do.

I thought of what my mother said when she died and every time I hear about a death of someone I care about. Still, I live with the assumption that life goes on. And I am always surprised to hear when someone has died.

To get some idea of what I might be able to do to handle my feelings I look up quotes online.

An unknown person said, "When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure." And I think that is a good way to think.

One person who entertained us all when we were children said, "Don't cry when it's over [instead] smile it happened." Dr. Seuss said that and I can only assume "it's" and "it" refer to life.