By Elaine Carlson

Recently I bought "Wild Ducks Walking Backward: The Short Writings of Tom Robbins (2005)." Convoluted, bizarre and wacky are some of the words you might want to use to describe the plots and characters in Robbins' novels. But I wanted to check out his shorter work. I start out by reading his non-fiction articles.

In "Ray Kroc" (Esquire 1985). Robbins relates the well known tale of how that American businessman became wealthy.

"Mac and Dick McDonald, never overly ambitious, were more of a hinderance than a help, but Kroc, an energetic dreamer, built a $7.8 billion empire of 7,400 drive-ins and somewhere along the way named the Big Mac double burger after one of the brothers. (Since these are "family" restaurants, it's easy to understand why it wasn't
named after the other one.)"

I had a bad accident in 1973 and I was in the hospital for three and a half months. A woman I had met not long before I was hurt came to visit me. She brought me a present --- Robbins' first novel, "Another Roadside Attraction (1971)." After I read it I was envious of her because she was a friend of his.

And that was the first book I read after the accident. It was very funny and I had a good time while reading it.

The second book I read -- a book of quotations of Benjamin Franklin --- was in a cart of books the hospital kept for their patients who might want to read. Now I know about " Poor Richards Almanack." I also know Franklin ran a printing press and was an editor of a newspaper when he was 23. So he knew how to write (I will give him that). It is just that I am sure Robbins is a much better author than Franklin was.

When I finished reading it I passed on the copy of "Another Roadside Attraction" to one of the nurses in the hospital. Later I felt a few qualms about giving it to Penny. I am pretty sure she would laugh when someone at her church told a joke. Maybe there were other times she laughs but I don't imagine she enjoyed much of the humor in that book.

He starts his second book, "Even Cowgirls Get The Blues (1976)" with a quote from a celebrity: "I told Dale, 'When I go, just skin me and put me on top of Trigger.' And Dale said, 'Now don't get any ideas about me.' " That's not a bad way to launch a book about outrageous western girls.

The critics often compare Robbins to Mark Twain. Mark Twain died in 1910 when he was 74.

Lets just image what would have happened if Samuel Clemons hadn't died then. But instead then he had lived just 74 years of a two hundred year life span. He would still be living and newspapers won't be carrying his obituary until some time in 2035. And that he would keep his pen name and wouldn't tire of writing.

We could make a lot of assumptions with the above scenario. Mine are that he would do all of his writing on a computer. And he would set his fiction in the world as it is now. For instance he might make Tom and Jim the joint heads of Computer Technology at the CDC.

Yeah of course Robbins is barreling down the road Mark Twain blazed. But also if Twain were alive now he would be going on the paths cleared by Tom Robbins..