Peirspictiochtai Ar An Saol
The Grandmother Rule
Many people are familiar with The Golden Rule.
While there are different words and phrases used, the moral principle is basically the same.
One phrase that is commonly used for The Golden Rule is "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
The problem is that this rule has not been working for quite some time.
Not because it's a bad rule – it's actually a very good moral philosophy – but because of two specific aspects of our society:
1. A number of people don't respect themselves.
2. A number of people have rationalized their actions as good so long as their actions benefit themselves.
When you don't care about yourself, you're less likely to care about anyone else.
When you can rationalize just about anything you do is acceptable so long as it benefits you – regardless of its impact on others – you're contributing to the coarseness of our society.
These aspects of life aren't necessarily new to those living in the 21st century who have studied the past.
You can point to a number of times in history where either one or both of those aspects were commonplace.
Also, these aspects of life aren't necessarily values unique to Americans.
They may very well be values common throughout the world.
It may be time for a replacement moral code to live by:
The Grandmother Rule.
This rule has an overall theme and three associated questions:
The moral theme: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto your grandmother."
Three associated questions:
1. As you're in the process of doing something to someone else, at that moment, stop and ask yourself, would you want what you are about to do to someone else done to your grandmother?
2. If you sat down with your grandmother, would you be proud to explain what you had just done to someone else?
3. After you explained to your grandmother what you had just done to someone else, would your grandmother's reaction be one of pride in you or would she be ashamed of you?
The reason the rule being suggested is not The Mother Rule, The Father Rule, or The Parent Rule is that a number of people don't like their mom or dad.
But most Americans love their grandmothers.
There is one key exception – you knew there had to be at least one exception to any rule – to The Grandmother Rule:
If your grandmother engages in activities that would make Samael proud, disregard The Grandmother Rule.
Instead, consider rephrasing this rule and associated questions to focus on someone you truly care about. It could be your grandfather, a parent, another relative, a friend, or someone else you respect.
Some people already live by this type of rule.
If you truly care about someone – your grandmother, for example – you're less likely to want to hurt them.
The coarseness of our society may have intensified in recent years or it may just seem that way because we may experience the coarseness more often or situations of coarseness may be reported more often by the news media.
The way to minimize that coarseness – we will never be able to remove everyone who engages in activities that make Samael proud – is to change the focus of how what we do impacts us individually and instead focus on how what we do impacts others we care about.
If that philosophy becomes more common, coarseness will be reduced.
And most of us – Samael and his followers exempted – will be better for that change.
The next news column in this series will focus on the subject of lying.
Peirspictiochtai Ar An Saol – Gaelic – Irish – for "Perspectives On Life" is a column focused on aspects of accountability and responsibility as well as ways people look at life.
Contact Richard McDonough at
© 2025 Richard McDonough
