Rein on All Fronts

By Charles Rein

How many remember these commercials? There was the Taco Bell's 1990's Chihuahua dog "¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!" ("I want Taco Bell!") and their earlier fast food commercial, "Make a Run for the Border."

While some may ask, "Would either of these fast food commercials be acceptable in 2024?" Some might groan and respond, "Nothing is acceptable in 2024." I might sadly agree with them.

I push the envelope further and ask, "Shouldn't border security be as least as important as sexual security?"

There's a broad range of euphemisms for those illegally "running for the border". They're called "migrants," "undocumented," "unauthorized," "non-citizens," "without status," or "unlawfully present."
I'd call them law breakers but hey, that's just me.

Jack Smith in a 1991 L.A Times article titled 'We're Taking the Fire out of Old Sexual Euphenisms", wrote:

"Nick Zrinyi who noted that in Victorian times, "any word even remotely related to sex or the body (especially the female body) was taboo. Ladies (not women) had limbs, not legs; her bosom was a single appendage on what was called "the front of her back," and...

"...Legs did not exist. Even pianos had limbs. Chicken legs were referred to as joints. People did not go to bed; they retired. Servant girls were not seduced; they were betrayed."

Yet, regarding terms of "border arrivals", the opposite seems true:
The terminology of "those gaining illegal entry into the southern border" are generally not described as law breakers. They're called "undocumented." They're called "arrivals." Another news site reported immigrants simply "crossed the border." Are we to believe this was purely a misdirected navigational issue with the bus? An innocent field trip?

Another site makes it sounds like a surfing contest stating, there's a "swell or bulge" at the border. Yet if Pedro has a bulge in his pants, outside the gate of the CBP, U.S. Customs and Border Protection, they're locking him up!

If sexual harassment terms were as lax as these border INsecurity terms mentioned, you might have a conversation such as this. ⚠️Warning possible trigger alert!!

She said: "He violated me."
He said: "No, your Honor. My hand merely crossed over her boundaries or, "It was only a slight navigational issue. My dinghy got lost and ended up near her harbor." Talk about euphenisms!

Why are certain laws so loosely defined for some illegal actions, yet so rigid for other actions?

Anyone who studied communication knows that communication is give and take. Both sides should have room for imput and interpretation. It shouldn't all come from one side. Speaking of coming from one side, our border has been penetrated...multiple times.

Do you know a few synonyms for this p-word?

Try "Infiltrate, sneak into, slip into, intrude..." does this sound familiar?

"He invaded my netheregions!"

Sure! And Pedro just "overstepped" the border.

If the administration pulled up their Pampers, uh big boy pants, and described sexual attacks as loosely as the border, they'd have to excuse his explanation, "You know she wasn't violated. In reality, I simply encroached upon her sexual sovereignty."

Others would call being violated "an unauthorized crossing" and well, I guess gay sex could just be called "irregular entry".

I share these thoughts not to make fun of them, but to bring serious thought as to why certain terms as so rigid while others are much more lax. Food for thought.

Hmmm, I'm hungry. I'm making a run for the border for a Nacho Belgrande.