By Mike Bibb
United States Bullion Depository at Fort Knox, Kentucky, supposedly contains tons of gold bars. But does it?
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Now, President Donald Trump and sidekick Elon Musk are getting down to the nitty-gritty.
Like a lot of folks, they want to know if the United States Bullion Depository at Fort Knox, Kentucky is full of gold. Or, as Musk recently quipped "Is it really lead bars spraypainted gold?"
I'm sure Elon's sarcastic comment was intended to prod public interest in the topic but given the bizarre revelations by the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), of the federal government's unshackled spending obsessions — along with unimaginable waste and fraud — then Musk's remarks on the validity of Fort Knox gold could have substance.
However, actually having the President or Congressional representatives visit and view the facility may be easier said than done.
Consequently, they should give consideration to hiring Auric Goldfinger, the bad guy in 1964s action flick "Goldfinger." The third movie installment of author Ian Flemming's 25 James Bond films. Bond was the fictional British MI-6 Secret Agent 007, who was always given the assignment of tracking and thwarting the world's most conniving villains.
Great stunt work, camera special effects and fantastic gimmicks, gadgets and super cars were an anticipated feature in every film.
Of course, helping Agent 007 in these difficult tasks was several vixens, to ease the stress and patch the scratches and occasional bullet holes piercing James' epidermis.
It was dirty work, but someone had to do it. Usually, James was given those thankless chores. Just as predictable, at the end of the movie he would always sail into the sunset — embracing the lucky girl.
The plot was pretty much the same in every sequel.
Finally, after staring in seven of the Bond movies, star Sean Connery (1930-2020) had enough of the 007 character and moved on to other acting gigs.
Anyway, the storyline of Goldfinger was the daring robbery of Fort Knox. Using Cessna airplanes, piloted by out-of-the-ordinary curvaceous female operators, they aerosol sprayed the area with nerve gas — crop-duster style — which immediately immobilized everyone guarding the compound. Goldfinger would then detonate a "dirty bomb" inside the vault — since it was too cumbersome to physically remove the gold — thereby contaminating its contents and driving up the world price of the metal without him actually taking possession.
You get the point. Ft. Knox could be robbed if conceived and carried out in a particularly sinister way. That is, until super-agent James Bond was assigned to the case. Then, the ploy gradually unraveled and went downhill.
Fort Knox was saved, the gold rescued from Goldfinger's grimy grip and as mentioned, 007 and the female foxes slipped away to rest up for the next installment.
Corny, but the movies made a lot of gold — the green kind.
Incidentally, in 2003 the American Film Institute declared Goldfinger the 49th greatest villain in the past 100 years in movies. Joining Jaws, Darth Vadar and Hannibal Lecter, among others.
Now, over 60 years after the first James Bond films were released, Fort Knox gold is again on the minds of various folks, including Elon Musk; worth several hundred billion dollars himself.
Only this time the question being kicked around — Is there really gold in the depository at Fort Knox? Or could it possibly have been stolen? Not by Goldfinger's method, but maybe by the age-old "In plain sight" type of caper.
Kind of like an "Inside job."
In other words, everyone's been told and naturally assumes Fort Knox contains piles of gold. Millions and billions of dollars of the stuff. All neatly stacked in temperature-controlled rooms, constructed of thick reinforced concrete, steel and hardened vault doors since 1936.
Further protected by electric fences, armed guards, video surveillance, motion detectors and other theft prevention features we can only imagine. Virtually, burglar proof, and certainly incapable of being robbed at gunpoint.
It is also fortified by the adjacent Fort Knox Army Post, a sprawling military complex, home to several Army specialized units.
"As safe as Fort Knox!" the saying goes. Not even a flu germ could escape undetected.
Then there's the other side of the coin "If there's something of value, someone will figure a way to steal it." It's just a matter of how and when.
A strategy demonstrated multiple times throughout history. The lure of tons of refined gold resting inside a building is, I imagine, a very powerful stimulant to anyone contemplating ways of illegally removing it.
But what if the idea was not to rush in and load the metallic booty into trucks, but repeatedly — over time — pilfer smaller amounts? Each time replaced with a substitute of lesser value. The vaults would be just as full, and the records would reflect nothing out of the ordinary.
Even single grains of sand can grow into large dunes if there's enough of them.
The scoundrels wouldn't be dressed in black with an insignia on their sleeve but look like everyone else coming and going through the well protected gates and portals, displaying the same identification cards, fingerprint IDs and eye scans.
Nor would it be necessary to remove the gold by conventional means. Maybe all it would take is a little extra ingenuity, a previously untried robbery tactic and a group of individuals thoroughly familiar with the methods and procedures of Ft. Knox security.
Maybe, the caper could all be run from a single desk, using an ordinary laptop computer from some distant location.
With the current price of gold hanging around $2600 an ounce, a standard gold bar weighting 439 ounces (about 27.4 pounds), would cost approximately $1,141,400.00.
In today's computer-dependence environment, the possibilities of even more criminally intricate schemes are conceivable. Cybercrime computer scams happen every day, to such an extent several companies furnish products and services to help impede the problem.
Still, the thievery goes on — sometimes on an international scale. It's an ongoing struggle.
Before anyone begins plotting a new Goldfinger heist of Ft. Knox, maybe they should ask themselves: If the United States monetary system is no longer linked to gold and silver as the basis of exchange, then what's the point of hoarding huge bundles of the precious metal?
We buy goods and services and pay our bills with paper money, checks, slug coins and credit cards. There's very little financial significance in our money other than what the government and Federal Reserve banking system decide what it's worth at any given time.
Which might help explain why costs always seem to be going up, necessitating spending more money to purchase things.
One week an item cost a dollar, the next its gone up to a $1.10. Then, a $1.17.
Yet, there was a time when folks carried gold and silver coins in their pockets; that's what the U.S. Mints stamped and circulated through the Treasury Department. There was also paper money, but it was backed by a percentage of silver and gold reserves.
The coins, because of their gold and silver content, had a built-in value. Whereas today's money doesn't.
Precious metal in our coins has gradually been reduced to the point it is practically negligible. Coins are made of nickel, copper and zinc. Paper money is produced from 25% linen (fibers from the flax plant) and 75% cotton.
Suppose it's possible copper and cotton from the Gila Valley area can become part of our nation's currency.
Traditionally, for thousands of years gold and silver have been items of value and worth. Unlike paper money or credit, which can be easily fabricated from abundant sources, precious metals are less available and must first be mined from the ground, refined, minted into coins and circulated within a stable banking system.
Most importantly, it's extremely difficult to inflate and counterfeit because the process is naturally limited by its manufacturing procedures. After the coins are made from gold and silver ores, they are stamped by machines in various sizes and denominations. Billions of them, all with an established value.
What would be the purpose of flooding the monetary system or counterfeiting coins with genuine gold and silver content?
Exactly — a fool's adventure.
Let's suppose the amount of gold stored at Fort Knox is not as great as most people think. That maybe, we've been deceived all these years by a clever ruse, intended to portray an image of absolute security when — possibly — the opposite is true.
One thing we're currently learning from DOGE's exposures of federal programs and their funding is that massive amounts of corruption, waste, abuse and outright mismanagement is more common than previously thought. It seems people are often given these jobs for political reasons rather than their experience and qualifications.
Is it just a coincidence a majority of the federal workforce are Democrats, even during Republican Administrations? I doubt it.
As a result, untold billions of dollars are stupidly, or intentionally, squandered on programs and schemes which have little merit in the overall governance of our country.
With this in mind, it isn't surprising President Trump, Elon Musk, and others, are scratching their heads and pondering the possibility the volume of Ft. Knox's gold may be less than presumed or reported?
Surely, no one would object to a deep audit of the place — just to make sure the records are correct, and the vaults actually contain what they are supposed to contain.
A bipartisan project with equal numbers of Democrat and Republican representatives witnessing the inspection. What would be wrong with that?
Unless the books are cooked, and the gold is really spray-painted lead bricks. And, by chance, the director of the depository happens to be a funny looking dude named Auric Goldfinger.
Then, we might have a problem, Lucy!
