abe villarrealAbe Villarreal is the Dean of Student Success at Cochise College. He enjoys writing about people, pastimes, and the small things in life. 

Simple, everyday conversations are still worth it

By Abe Villarreal

Maybe I was born in the wrong generation, but I still like to talk to people. People I know and people I don't know. Talk to someone when placing an order. Talk to someone when picking up my groceries. Talk to someone when paying for my morning coffee. Talk to someone when I need help.

I know I'm better off asking the butcher for the finest cut of meat, rather than reading a review online or clicking a picture on an app. The butcher knows what's best for me.

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A phone friend that knows everything you know

By Abe Villarreal

Last night I spoke to an old friend and former colleague. It was one of those conversations where I picked up the phone, she answered, and the very first statements went something like this:

"I just read that Joe passed away." "That's too bad." "Do you know how he passed?" "No, he must have been sick recently." "Did you hear about Jenny getting the award?" "I did." "It was expected."

And each time one of us spoke, it was one of those back and forth exchanges. I shared something, then she shared something. We never asked how each of us was doing or about our personal lives. You don't feel you need to when you speak to someone that feels like a neighbor, even if she lives in a different state.

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A biscuit recipe and a Bible are all you need 

By Abe Villarreal

A few readers responded to my last column with suggestions. One was to watch Brenda Gantt on Facebook. Ms. Gantt is a classic Southerner. A 74-year-old grandmother who puts on her own cooking shows.

They aren't professionally produced shows with perfect lighting and an enthusiastic audience. It’s just Ms. Gantt with a smartphone. A smartphone that she sometimes has trouble using. She posts something almost daily. Gravy, fried green tomatoes, sweet tea, and more than any item – biscuits. She loves to make biscuits.

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Old hymns are old, but still meant for today

By Abe Villarreal

I never thought I would like old hymns as much as I like them these days. When I say old hymns, I mean the kind of songs that people sing in church that sound like they've been around since before grandma and grandpa were around.

When I started singing them, I couldn't get past the thous and the thys. They seemed to be everywhere, at the end of verses and between words when you least expected them. I'd ask myself why we would sing in a language that doesn't exist, that only existed for a short period, in a faraway place.

The more I sang them, the more I learned. The more I learned, the more I fell in love with them. Not the thous and the thys, but all the other words. What I learned in one of the hymns is that I had to get out of the way, and just listen. "I surrender all… I surrender all…"

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Life changing moments are different for all of us

By Abe Villarreal

In the blink of an eye, or the flash of a light, things change. You don't realize it until later, much later. The full impact of a life changing moment takes time to cement itself. To let itself be known.

That was probably true for a friend who went from walking to sitting still. From freely moving, to moving with the help of a machine. Today, he lives in two positions. Sitting down and lying down. He gets around, but not the way we do. He needs a lot of help. He was someone different from the person I know today. That changed in one day.

I wonder what happens when life changes for us this way? When we go from being free to being broken down. We all rely on others, even if we think we don't. Life is full of connecting dots. When they are connected, life works better. When we can't reach the next dot, we become still.

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Choosing to surrender is choosing freedom

By Abe Villarreal

I've been reading about surrendering lately. It's something that's hard to do. Thinking about it makes us feel like failures, like we are not in control. Maybe that's the point.

Americans aren't supposed to surrender. Growing up, we read in our textbooks that we went to war. Many wars, and that we always won. There was no such thing as surrender for our founding fathers or our military leaders. That's not the American way.

But I feel like surrendering. Throughout our lives, we carry good and bad. We live with the decisions that we make. Sometimes they feel very heavy. We are weighed down by our feelings, our past actions. Those things we need to surrender.

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Three strangers, two guitars, and a new sound

By Abe Villarreal

Three guys just met each other in the middle of an uneven and old historic street. They are musicians, or at least want to be musicians. I was sitting a few feet above them. The street is not really a street but more of an area with old brick-shaped stones that have moved in different directions over the years. The many years that they've been there.

"Hey, I just moved here," said the younger guy with the red colored beard and overalls. "I'm looking to be in a band, and I'm good." That's what he told the second guy who had been playing a guitar while singing something that sounded like it came from the early seventies.

"Really?" the second guy asked. They started chatting about Portland, Maine, where I am visiting as I write this to you. Then, a third guy showed up. A really skinny guy with a few missing teeth but a great big smile.

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Losing traditions means losing community

By Abe Villarreal

When I lived in Silver City, NM, there was a yarn shop called Yada Yada Yarn. I always liked that name. I'm not sure if the proprietors defined it as a yarn shop. Maybe it was a fabric store, or a sweater store.

There was yarn everywhere. Thick yarn and not-so-thick yarn. Deep colors and light colors. The kind of yarn to make scarfs and bonnets. The kind that seems to keep going and going.

I liked that place because there was a group of ladies that would sit together to knit, and to chat. One of the ladies said that knitting together was something that ladies did for generations, but it's something that doesn't happen much anymore. That's one of the reasons the ladies at Yada Yada Yarn did it. To keep the tradition alive. Knitting and chatting. Learning from each other. Creating community.

A lot of traditions are not traditions anymore. We are in a hurry. Knitting seems like it doesn't get us from point A to point B. We can't stay in one place. We are nervous people.

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