Editor-

Lights In The Sky — It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's a Drone, It's a UFO or Something

I'm certainly no aeronautical engineer, but when supposedly intelligent people begin telling me dozens of mysterious blinking lights in the sky are either drones, eavesdropping foreign aircraft, or UFOs, then I think it's probably time to switch the channel to something a little more believable.

TikTok, maybe.

Mainly, because if we're being influenced by individuals who can't tell the difference between a commercially manufactured drone and something from beyond Neptune, then we're in deeper doo-doo than I imagined.

Or, could it be President Joe doesn't have a clue? Afterall, he allowed a big Chinese spy balloon to traverse the country before shooting it down over the Atlantic Ocean.

Even then, he didn't react until being told the balloon resembled a Republican elephant.

Which could be the reason he's remained quiet on the New Jersey sightings. Nosey drones, balloons, UFOs, same thing — it's Trump's fault.

Everyone knows that. Just ask Nancy Pelosi as soon as she gets out of the hospital.

I get it, but why hasn't someone from the national government absolutely confirmed if the circling objects are friendlies or not? Why has it taken almost a month to let us know — one way or the other?

Now, as I said, my schooling in airplane construction and flying saucers came to an abrupt end when I never understood what makes a heavier-than-air contraption fly around in the air.

Something about air flowing under an aircraft's wing lifts it off the ground. If that's the case, how come my grandma's flabby arms didn't lift her at least three feet above the sidewalk on a windy day?

I know, birds fly around all the time, but they're supposed to. That's their job.

And I still remember a couple of bicycle builders thought of a way to make a bicycle go airborne by attaching wings and a motor driven propeller. Thinking, I suppose, the market for bicycles would eventually be surpassed by people's desire to commute from New York City to Los Angeles before noon.

Everyone's in a hurry. Time's money. Big is better. Bicycles are slow. Jet planes are fast. Rockets are faster. UFOs are even quicker — and sometimes they move around in the night skies.

Kinda weird.

How do I know? Because I've seen them. At least I've seen things in the night skies I can't logically rationalize. Any more than I can figure out how gravity works.

It wasn't that long ago when a group of UFO type things were filmed cruising in a V formation over central Arizona. The media dubbed them the "Phoenix Lights."

Later we were assured it was just flares being dropped by military aircraft.

Still haven't followed the logic of that explanation, or who comes up with these far-fetched narratives.

At least they didn't tell us it was a flock of geese heading south for the winter.

Makes about as much sense as believing the Phoenix Suns' Charles Barkley was suited up as an overgrown R2-D2. Sir Charles is more radiant than some space dude. Even on his worst day.

However, President Joe's persistent silence on the subject is a little out of the ordinary. Normally, he's attracted to secret stuff and has a tendency to carry it off to his home's garage and cram it behind his classic
'66 Corvette.

At least, Joe and I probably have that in common. He sees things that he says are "classified" — and worth a few bucks — while I see things that should be classified.

Him, for instance.

The problem I'm having in resolving if the blinking lights over New Jersey are UFOs, foreign spy planes or drones is based upon a simple premise: Are foreign spy planes and UFOs required by the FAA to be equipped with red and white flashing lights before they can enter U.S. airspace?

Is there some kind of intergalactic treaty to provide safe travel and promote McDonald's franchises in deep space? Kind of like Santa's yearly Christmas tracking by NORAD.

Not really certain, because if the Golden Arches begin showing up on Mars and the moons of Jupiter, can a Super Walmart be far behind?

My primary concern is if the really smart folks in our government — with all their science, technologies, electronic gadgetry and lobbyists — can't tell the difference between a Lockheed-Martin drone, a Chinese knockoff, Russian imitations or UFOs, then why are we spending billions of dollars yearly on trinkets that's supposed to sound an alert if the bad guys are looking at us?

Wouldn't it be much less complicated, and cost efficient, to simply log on to google Earth?

Personally, I don't really think getting rid of the drones, UFOs, or whatever they are, is a big deal. All the New Jersey officials have to do is get in touch with the folks over on Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts. They got rid of their alien problem in about 24 hours.

Actually, I've come to the conclusion that the 1985 sci-fi flick "Cocoon," is closer to the truth than we suspect.

Life may be better in the outer regions of space than the suburbs of Orlando, Florida or Trenton, New Jersey.

So, if a UFO lands at the Silver City Airport, lowers its ramp and invites curious onlookers to come aboard, it might be a good idea to check the Captain's visa to see if he legally came in, or randomly crossed over like millions of others — who didn't have the convenience of a flying machine.

Actually, some did. Good Old Uncle Joe flew thousands of them to various U.S. locations, bypassing all the rigmarole of having to walk through Mexico.

What a nice guy he turned out to be. Too bad he'll probably think he's still President after January 20, 2025.

Not that he would notice any difference.

Mike Bibb
Safford, AZ